1. Sex and the City

Director: Michael Patrick King

Screenplay: Michael Patrick King

Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall

If you just can’t get enough of Carrie and the gals, HBO is releasing the “extended version” of the 2008 film.

  1. TRON

Director: Steven Lisberger

Screenplay: Steven Lisberger

Starring: Jeff Bridges, Bruce Boxleitner

Jeff Bridges abandons his family to rule a video game land, which is not unlike the story of many millennial fathers we know but without all the cool lights, motorcycles and action.

  1. Traders

Director: Rachael Moriarty, Peter Murphy

Screenplay: Rachael Moriarty, Peter Murphy

Starring: Killian Scott, John Bradley, Nika McGuigan

In this Deep Web approximation of the Thunderdome, two men enter with all their assets in a green duffel bag and only one exits in a winner-take-all-battle to the death. This is Trading (apparently).

  1. A Monster Calls

Director: J.A. Bayona

Screenplay: Patrick Ness

Starring: Lewis MacDougall, Sigourney Weaver

The monster in this movie is kind of like a more brutal Giving Tree. While helping the young protagonist cope with his mother’s terminal illness, it also gives a beat down to schoolyard bullies.

  1. Hidden Figures

Director: Theodore Melfi

Screenplay: Allison Schroeder, Theodore Melfi

Starring: Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer

This film commits to celluloid the untold story of a team of African-American women mathematicians who played vital role in NASA during the beginning of the space program.

  1. La La Land

Director: Damien Chazelle

Screenplay: Damien Chazelle

Starring: Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone

People talked a lot of trash on La La Land because it wasn’t Moonlight but, man, not everything needs to be Moonlight. Sometimes you just want to watch some white people dancing and let’s be real—Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone are pure magic, y’all.

  1. Assassin’s Creed

Director: Jim Kurzel

Screenplay: Michael Lesslie, Adam Cooper

Starring: Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Jeremy Irons

It doesn’t matter how many big name actors you can squeeze in, video game movies are always trash. With the exception of the first Mortal Kombat movie and the Street Fighter movie, of course.

  1. Why Him?

Director: John Hamburg

Screenplay: John Hamburg

Starring: Zoey Deutch, James Franco

The better question is: why not him?

  1. The Amityville Horror

Director: Andrew Douglas

Screenplay: Scott Kosar

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Melissa George

There’ve been just about 14 Amityville Horror adaptations and really only the first, 1979 version truly captured the terror put forth in the original novel. Though much of the account has been disputed, it’s still pretty terrifying nightmare fuel.

  1. Austin Powers: the Spy Who Shagged Me

Director: Jay Roach

Screenplay: Mike Meyers

Starring: Mike Meyers, Heather Graham

For all his deficiencies, Mike Meyers knows how to create cinematic cultural landmarks. We don’t want to live in a world without “Shagadelic” or “Yeah, Baby!”

  1. Fried Green Tomatoes

Director: Jon Avnet

Screenplay: Fannie Flagg

Starring: Kathy Bates, Jessica Tandy

Damn, remember when the train rips off Buddy’s arm and then they hold a funeral for the arm? The South is weird, man.

  1. Halloween: Resurrection

Director: Rick Rosenthal

Screenplay: Larry Brand

Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Busta Rhymes

Who’s your favorite Michael Meyers? The one who was in Wayne’s World or the one who kills Busta Rhymes? Also, Jamie Lee Curtis returns to the franchise which kick started her whole career, launching her from scream queen to megastar to where-are-they-now.

  1. Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Director: Guillermo del Toro

Screenplay: Guillermo del Toro

Starring: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair

With the Hellboy series, Guillermo Del Toro proved that little-known comic book adaptations could be:

  1. Awesome
  2. Financially worthwhile

They’re rebooting the franchise with new actors and a director who’s, so far, done nothing of note. We don’t have such high hopes for that one.

  1. How High

Director: Jesse Dylan

Screenplay: Dustin Lee Abraham

Starring: Method Man, Redman

What happened to stoner comedies? With it being increasingly legal and/or decriminalized, you’d think there’d be a deluge of stoner films right now. We suppose it’s just not as funny or as subversive when everybody’s doing it. Anyway, this one has its moments.

  1. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Director: Garth Jennings

Screenplay: Douglas Adams

Starring: Martin Freeman, Yasiin Bey

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is one of the most beloved books for people who skew socially awkward (and other people too, probably). This adaptation hit the mark because Douglas Adams (the book’s author) signed on to write the script. Also, Mos Def.

  1. Maximum Overdrive

Director: Stephen King

Screenplay: Stephen King

Starring: Emilio Estevez, Pat Hingle

Stephen King should stick to what he does best: making people fear inanimate objects and clowns. His first (and last) time in the director’s chair is good for a few laughs but that’s about it.

  1. Scarface

Director: Brian De Palma

Screenplay: Oliver Stone

Starring: Al Pacino, Michelle Pfeiffer

The film that inspired a legion of hip-hop albums and a myriad of ways for middle class white kids to decorate their dorm rooms while moving small amounts of pot. It’s still a classic, though, despite the dicey legacy.

  1. Scent of a Woman

Director: Martin Brest

Screenplay: Bo Goldman

Starring: Al Pacino, Chris O’Donnell

The title of this movie is kind of gross when you think about it, right?

  1. Vice Principals: Season 2

Created by: Jody Hill, Danny McBride

Starring: Danny McBride, Walton Goggins

Season one ended with a murder and now Danny McBride’s Neal Gamby is trying to figure out who tried to off him in this seriously strange dark comedy series.

  1. The Deuce: Series Premier

Created by: George Pelecanos, David Simon

Starring: James Franco, Maggie Gyllenhaal

James Franco cannot get enough of true-crime porn stories having just released King Cobra about a murder in the world of gay porn. Now, he’s playing a pair of small-time Mafioso twins beginning to dip their toes into smut in 70s New York City. Done by the guy who brought us The Wire so it must be good.

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