20. Sex and the City

Director: Michael Patrick King

Screenplay: Michael Patrick King

Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall

If you just can’t get enough of Carrie and the gals, HBO is releasing the “extended version” of the 2008 film.

19. TRON

Director: Steven Lisberger

Screenplay: Steven Lisberger

Starring: Jeff Bridges, Bruce Boxleitner

Jeff Bridges abandons his family to rule a video game land, which is not unlike the story of many millennial fathers we know but without all the cool lights, motorcycles and action.

18. Traders

Director: Rachael Moriarty, Peter Murphy

Screenplay: Rachael Moriarty, Peter Murphy

Starring: Killian Scott, John Bradley, Nika McGuigan

In this Deep Web approximation of the Thunderdome, two men enter with all their assets in a green duffel bag and only one exits in a winner-take-all-battle to the death. This is Trading (apparently).

17. A Monster Calls

Director: J.A. Bayona

Screenplay: Patrick Ness

Starring: Lewis MacDougall, Sigourney Weaver

The monster in this movie is kind of like a more brutal Giving Tree. While helping the young protagonist cope with his mother’s terminal illness, it also gives a beat down to schoolyard bullies.

16. Hidden Figures

Director: Theodore Melfi

Screenplay: Allison Schroeder, Theodore Melfi

Starring: Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer

This film commits to celluloid the untold story of a team of African-American women mathematicians who played vital role in NASA during the beginning of the space program.

15. La La Land

Director: Damien Chazelle

Screenplay: Damien Chazelle

Starring: Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone

People talked a lot of trash on La La Land because it wasn’t Moonlight but, man, not everything needs to be Moonlight. Sometimes you just want to watch some white people dancing and let’s be real—Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone are pure magic, y’all.

14. Assassin’s Creed

Director: Jim Kurzel

Screenplay: Michael Lesslie, Adam Cooper

Starring: Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Jeremy Irons

It doesn’t matter how many big name actors you can squeeze in, video game movies are always trash. With the exception of the first Mortal Kombat movie and the Street Fighter movie, of course.

13. Why Him?

Director: John Hamburg

Screenplay: John Hamburg

Starring: Zoey Deutch, James Franco

The better question is: why not him?

12. The Amityville Horror

Director: Andrew Douglas

Screenplay: Scott Kosar

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Melissa George

There’ve been just about 14 Amityville Horror adaptations and really only the first, 1979 version truly captured the terror put forth in the original novel. Though much of the account has been disputed, it’s still pretty terrifying nightmare fuel.

11. Austin Powers: the Spy Who Shagged Me

Director: Jay Roach

Screenplay: Mike Meyers

Starring: Mike Meyers, Heather Graham

For all his deficiencies, Mike Meyers knows how to create cinematic cultural landmarks. We don’t want to live in a world without “Shagadelic” or “Yeah, Baby!”

10. Fried Green Tomatoes

Director: Jon Avnet

Screenplay: Fannie Flagg

Starring: Kathy Bates, Jessica Tandy

Damn, remember when the train rips off Buddy’s arm and then they hold a funeral for the arm? The South is weird, man.

9. Halloween: Resurrection

Director: Rick Rosenthal

Screenplay: Larry Brand

Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Busta Rhymes

Who’s your favorite Michael Meyers? The one who was in Wayne’s World or the one who kills Busta Rhymes? Also, Jamie Lee Curtis returns to the franchise which kick started her whole career, launching her from scream queen to megastar to where-are-they-now.

8. Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Director: Guillermo del Toro

Screenplay: Guillermo del Toro

Starring: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair

With the Hellboy series, Guillermo Del Toro proved that little-known comic book adaptations could be:

1. Awesome
2. Financially worthwhile

They’re rebooting the franchise with new actors and a director who’s, so far, done nothing of note. We don’t have such high hopes for that one.

7. How High

Director: Jesse Dylan

Screenplay: Dustin Lee Abraham

Starring: Method Man, Redman

What happened to stoner comedies? With it being increasingly legal and/or decriminalized, you’d think there’d be a deluge of stoner films right now. We suppose it’s just not as funny or as subversive when everybody’s doing it. Anyway, this one has its moments.

6. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Director: Garth Jennings

Screenplay: Douglas Adams

Starring: Martin Freeman, Yasiin Bey

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is one of the most beloved books for people who skew socially awkward (and other people too, probably). This adaptation hit the mark because Douglas Adams (the book’s author) signed on to write the script. Also, Mos Def.

5. Maximum Overdrive

Director: Stephen King

Screenplay: Stephen King

Starring: Emilio Estevez, Pat Hingle

Stephen King should stick to what he does best: making people fear inanimate objects and clowns. His first (and last) time in the director’s chair is good for a few laughs but that’s about it.

4. Scarface

Director: Brian De Palma

Screenplay: Oliver Stone

Starring: Al Pacino, Michelle Pfeiffer

The film that inspired a legion of hip-hop albums and a myriad of ways for middle class white kids to decorate their dorm rooms while moving small amounts of pot. It’s still a classic, though, despite the dicey legacy.

3. Scent of a Woman

Director: Martin Brest

Screenplay: Bo Goldman

Starring: Al Pacino, Chris O’Donnell

The title of this movie is kind of gross when you think about it, right?

2. Vice Principals: Season 2

Created by: Jody Hill, Danny McBride

Starring: Danny McBride, Walton Goggins

Season one ended with a murder and now Danny McBride’s Neal Gamby is trying to figure out who tried to off him in this seriously strange dark comedy series.

1. The Deuce: Series Premier

Created by: George Pelecanos, David Simon

Starring: James Franco, Maggie Gyllenhaal

James Franco cannot get enough of true-crime porn stories having just released King Cobra about a murder in the world of gay porn. Now, he’s playing a pair of small-time Mafioso twins beginning to dip their toes into smut in 70s New York City. Done by the guy who brought us The Wire so it must be good.

20. Hard Knocks: Training Camp with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Creators: Marty Callner

Starring: The Tampa Bay Buccaneers

The HBO reality series, which follows a single football team through their training camp and preseason, is back for its eleventh year—this time with playoff hopefuls the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

19. Emelie

Director: Michael Thelin

Screenplay: Rich Herbeck

Starring: Sarah Bolger, Carly Adams

The latest entry into the “psychotic babysitter” category of horror films is currently sitting at a cool 90% on Rotten Tomatoes.

18. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Director: David Yates

Screenplay: J.K. Rowling

Starring: Eddie Redmayne, Katherine Waterston

They are going to be wringing dollars out of the Harry Potter series until we are old and gray and then long dead. This one, if you didn’t already know, is set in the magical land of muggles and magic-users, but does not feature the boy wizard himself.

17. Rules Don’t Apply

Director: Warren Beatty

Screenplay: Warren Beatty

Starring: Lily Collins, Alden Ehrenreich

Any movie set in the Golden Age of Hollywood is going to, at the very least, be pleasing to the eye. Add in reclusive genius/rich guy/insane person Howard Hughes as played by Warren Beatty and you’ve instantly got something watchable if uneven as this film is.

16. Nocturnal Animals

Director: Tom Ford

Screenplay: Tom Ford

Starring: Amy Adams, Jake Gyllenhaal

Tom Ford made the jump from designer icon to very decent director with his film A Single Man and continued that trend with an admirable adaptation of Austin Wright’s novel, Tony and Susan. The film looks incredible but the content leaves something to be desired.

15. Jackie

Director: Pablo Larraín

Screenplay: Noah Oppenheim

Starring: Natalie Portman, Peter Sarsgaard, Billy Crudup

For being a two-hour close-up of Natalie Portman’s face, this movie was pretty good. She could have easily carried the film alone, but a rock solid supporting cast certainly helped as well.

14. Adaptation.

Director: Spike Jonze

Screenplay: Charlie Kaufman

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Meryl Streep

Charlie Kaufman films are often befuddling and altogether strange and Adaptation. is no exception. Though the book is loosely based on the novel The Orchid Thief, but never rely in Kaufman for a 1:1 retelling.

13. Frost/Nixon

Director: Ron Howard

Screenplay: Peter Morgan

Starring: Frank Langella, Michael Sheen

With all these comparisons to Watergate and Richard Nixon being thrown around about our current President, perhaps there’s no better time than now to refresh our memories about what unchecked power looks like.

12. Girl with a Pearl Earring

Director: Peter Webber

Screenplay: Olivia Hetreed

Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Colin Firth

A movie based on a novel based on an oil painting.

11. Happy Tears

Director: Mitchell Lichtenstein

Screenplay: Mitchell Lichtenstein

Starring: Parker Posey, Demi Moore

Directed by the son of famed pop artist Roy Lichtenstein and starring two darlings of 90s cinema, Happy Tears focuses on two daughters who return home to care for their ailing father.

10. Love Liza

Director: Todd Louiso

Screenplay: Gordy Hoffman

Starring: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Annie Morgan

The world will never be the same without the genius of Philip Seymour Hoffman in it. In Love Liza, he gives one of his most compelling, if unsung, performances as a gasoline-huffing widower dealing with the suicide of his spouse.

9. Martian Child

Director: Menno Meyjes

Screenplay: Seth Bass, Jonathan Tolins

Starring: John Cusack, Amanda Peet

Apart from the title, we have no idea what this movie is about. Is it about an actual Martian child? Or a child that just thinks he’s a Martian? Or maybe he’s just a little confused? Honestly, we just saw that John Cusack was in it and figured it couldn’t be all that bad.

8. Max Payne

Director: John Moore

Screenplay: Beau Thorne

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis

Apart from Super Mario Bros., video game movie adaptations are pretty terrible. This one is no different starring everyone’s favorite working-class multi-millionaire actor Marky Mark.

7. RocknRolla

Director: Guy Ritchie

Screenplay: Guy Ritchie

Starring: Gerard Butler, Tom Wilkinson

Guy Ritchie—what happened? After making two of the best crime capers movies of the early-aughts (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch), he got married to Madonna and started farting out duds. RocknRolla is, at the very least, a decent attempt at a comeback but still falls short.

6. Sunshine State

Director: John Sayles

Screenplay: John Sayles

Starring: Angela Bassett, Edie Falco

These days, everybody’s so enamored with poking fun at Florida that they miss very decent, heartfelt films set in the Sunshine State like Sunshine State. The film centers on two women trying to save a town from developers but manages to weave in some pretty complex themes.

5. Tango & Cash

Director: Andrei Konchalovsky

Screenplay: Randy Feldman

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russell

Watched with fresh eyes, this movie is completely bonkers. It’s an unabashed 80s cop film with all the clichés you’d imagine plus healthy insinuations that there’s definitely something going on between the film’s leads.

4. The Ring

Director: Gore Verbinski

Screenplay: Ehren Kruger

Starring: Naomi Watts, Martin Henderson

Despite spawning some pretty horrible sequels, the original, American-made The Ring was a pretty convincing fright fest with enough visual jump scares to stand the test of time.

3. The Strangers

Director: Bryan Bertino

Screenplay: Bryan Bertino

Starring: Scott Speedman, Liv Tyler

“Strangers” torture a husband and his wife in this film, which is kind of like Funny Games (which Netflix will be featuring in August) but without all the cultural subtext.

2. Thirteen Conversations About One Thing

Director: Jill Sprecher

Screenplay: Karen Sprecher, Jill Sprecher

Starring: Alan Arkin, John Turturro, Matthew McConaughey

An ensemble drama made during the heyday of ensemble dramas.

1. Game of Thrones, Season 7

Creators: David Benioff, D.B. Weiss

Starring: Emilia Clarke, Peter Dinklage

It feels like Game of Thrones jut started and it will already conclude at the end of this month, which is the cruelest joke HBO could pull on anybody. Apparently, next season, every episode will be film length but that remains to be seen (and doesn’t make us feel any better about the series being over after just seven weeks).

20. Words That Built America

Director: Alexandra Pelosi

Screenplay: The Founding Fathers

Starring: Donald Trump, Meryl Streep

This July 4th special features a bunch of celebrities reading the Declaration of Independence, including Donald Trump. If you love a good parade of irony, then this will no doubt be for you!

19. Tour De Pharmacy

Director: Jake Szymanski

Screenplay: Murray Miller

Starring: Orlando Bloom, Kevin Bacon

This HBO original is a mockumentary look at the juiced-up world of competitive cycling. It features Lance Armstrong in a minor role so obviously he’s not taking the doping thing too seriously.

18. The Defiant Ones

Director: Allen Hughes

Screenplay: Allen Hughes

Starring: Jimmy Iovine, Dr. Dre

The four-part documentary tells the story of record industry wunderkind Jimmy Iovine and his time working with Dr. Dre—a relationship that leads to landmark albums, which shape contemporary culture as a whole.

17. Watchmen

Director: Zack Snyder

Screenplay: David Hayter, Alex Tse

Starring: Jackie Earle Haley

For such a complex and dense graphic novel as the Watchmen, it was always going to be difficult to bring it to the big screen, but Zack Snyder did an admirable job. This is despite the fact that creator Alan Moore completely crapped on it. Leftovers writer Damon Lindeloff is bringing Watchmen back as an HBO original series so get learned up on the source material.

16. Ballers, Season 3

Created By: Stephen Levinson

Producers: Mark Wahlberg, Peter Berg

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Rob Corddry

If you’ve been to a frat party in the last three years, you’ve probably heard someone talk about Ballers. If not, then you might not know that it stars the Rock and it’s about sports agents.

15. Insecure, Season 2

Created By: Issa Rae, Larry Wilmore

Producers: Issa Rae, Prentice Penny

Starring: Issa Rae, Jay Ellis

Based on the mega-popular web series Awkward Black Girl, Insecure returns for its second hilarious season.

14. Room 104, Series Premiere

Created By: Mark Duplass, Jay Duplass

Producers: Mark Duplass, Jay Duplass

Starring: Mark Duplass, Jay Duplass

After the untimely cancelling of their fantastic HBO series, Togetherness, the Duplass Brothers return with an anthology comedy series set in a motel. Hopefully, this one will last longer than two seasons.

13. Loving

Director: Jeff Nichols

Screenplay: Jeff Nichols

Starring: Joel Edgerton, Ruth Negga

The true story of Loving vs. Virginia, the case that contested and ultimately dismantled laws against interracial marriage in America.

12. Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

Director: Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone

Screenplay: Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone, Andy Samberg

Starring: Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone, Andy Samberg

We thought it was understood that the Lonely Island would just kind of go away after, like, 2010 as their brand of comedy had petered out and been replaced by the more absurdist stylings of Wareheim, Heidecker, Andre and Buress, but, nevertheless, here they are. Actually, the movie isn’t all that bad and kind of makes you harken for the simpler time of the early aughts.

11. Hacksaw Ridge

Director: Mel Gibson

Screenplay: Robert Schenkkan, Andrew Knight

Starring: Andrew Garfield, Sam Worthington

Honestly, it’s surprising that Mel Gibson was welcomed back into the folds of Hollywood after he’d been caught on audio being openly racist, sexist and anti-Semitic. It just goes to show you that money and everything else walks. Of course, this movie looks like one of those fake films you’d see on the show Entourage it’s so incredibly by-the-numbers.

10. The Blair Witch Project

Director: Daniel Myrick, Eduardo Sanchez

Screenplay: Daniel Myrick, Eduardo Sanchez

Starring: Heather Donahue, Michael C. Williams, Joshua Leonard

We don’t care what you say, this movie was a damn revolution. Even during that scene where the girl shoves the camera up her snotty nose, we were on board. And it’s still scary after all these years.

9. Born on the Fourth of July

Director: Oliver Stone

Screenplay: Oliver Stone, Ron Kovic

Starring: Tom Cruise, Kyra Sedgwick

If there’s anybody you know who hates Tom Cruise, tell them to watch this movie because it’s probably one of his best roles. It’s the second in Stone’s “Vietnam” trilogy and might be the highlight.

8. The Dark Knight

Director: Christopher Nolan

Screenplay: Christopher Nolan, Jonathan Nolan

Starring: Christian Bale, Heath Ledger

What can be said of this movie that hasn’t already been said? It’s not just a super hero film, it’s a damn masterpiece.

7. Minority Report

Director: Steven Spielberg

Screenplay: Scott Frank, Jon Cohen

Starring: Tom Cruise, Colin Farrell

We got a lot of Cruise movies on this list, as it seems HBO is doubling down on its July “Cruise Control.” In this one, Cruise has to stop a crime before it can be committed with the help of a psychic who can see crimes before they can be committed. It’s a pretty good movie, trust us.

6. Mission: Impossible II

Director: John Woo

Screenplay: Robert Towne

Starring: Tom Cruise, Thandie Newton

That’s right, it’s Cruise again and he’s out there saving somebody from something.

5. Mr. Deeds

Director: Steven Brill

Screenplay: Tim Herlihy

Starring: Adam Sandler, Winona Ryder

Sandler gets a lot of flack for his movies and some of them are pretty bad. Mr. Deeds has heart, laughs and John Turturro being unsurprisingly hilarious.

4. Platoon

Director: Oliver Stone

Screenplay: Oliver Stone

Starring: Charlie Sheen, Tom Berenger

When he was a younger man, Stone actually requested combat duty in Vietnam and remains a decorated veteran. Dude was more than just an artist. This is the first and most lauded in Stone’s “Vietnam Trilogy.”

3. Robin Hood: Men in Tights

Director: Mel Brooks

Screenplay: Mel Brooks, Evan Chandler, J. David Shapiro

Starring: Cary Elwes, Dave Chappelle

It wasn’t the highest grossing of Mel Brooks’ films and it wasn’t the best either, but it’s got some of the most memorable moments and songs. It also receives bonus points for being Dave Chappelle’s first featured role in a film.

2. Thirteen

Director: Catharine Hardwicke

Screenplay: Catharine Hardwicke, Nikki Reed

Starring: Evan Rachel Wood, Nikki Reed

This semi-autobiographical movie was written by the then-thirteen year old Nikki Reed. The movie was released in 2003, when movies about bored suburban teens were all the rage.

1. Game of Thrones, Season 7 Premiere

Created By: David Benioff, D.B. Weiss

Producers: David Benioff, D.B. Weiss

Starring: Peter Dinklage, Lena Headey

Ultimately, none of this other stuff matters because Game of Thrones returns for the first part of its final season July 16^th. This country (world?) needs some escapism right now and there’s no better cure than swords and sorcerers. The war for the Seven Kingdoms is coming and it’s going to be bloody as hell and, by the look of the trailers, everything is either going to be on fire or frozen solid.

20. Be Cool (2005)

Director: F. Gary Gray

Screenplay: Peter Steinfeld

Starring: John Travolta, Uma Thurman

Like any great Elmore Leonard novel adaptation, lots of funky characters will be introduced and not everything will be tied up neat and tidy. While Be Cool doesn’t win as much as its predecessor Get Shorty, it still has some fine performances, especially by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

19. Bend It Like Beckham (2003)

Director: Gurinder Chadha

Screenplay: Paul Mayeda Berges, Guljit Bindra, Gurinder Chadha

Starring: Keira Knightly, Parminder Nagra

In this decidedly British dram-com, a young Indian girl desperately wants to play football (soccer) and in comes Keira Knightly to awkwardly help her do just that.

18. Coal Miner’s Daughter (1980)

Director: Michael Apted

Screenplay: Tom Rickman

Starring: Sissy Spacek, Tommy Lee Jones

The story of country music legend Loretta Lynn is brought to life in this heartbreaking melodrama starring the inimitable Sissy Spacek.

17. Driving Miss Daisy (1989)

Director: Bruce Beresford

Screenplay: Alfred Uhry

Starring: Morgan Freeman, Jessica Tandy

Driving Miss Daisy is often pointed at as, less a well put together meditation of racial prejudices in the American South, and more a movie that tries to purportedly “solve” problems by acknowledging that they don’t have to exist if we’re just nice to each other. Great thought but totally inapplicable in our modern lives.

16. Frequency (2000)

Director: Gregory Hoblit

Screenplay: Toby Emmerich

Starring: Jim Caviezel, Dennis Quaid

Frequency is one of those movies that everybody’s dad has seen and probably loves. Seriously, go ask your dad if he’s seen this movie and he’ll probably respond with “Oh yeah, I love that movie.”

15. Get Smart (2008)

Director: Peter Segal

Screenplay: Tom J. Astle, Matt Ember

Starring: Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway

There’s always a need for movies that you can just kind of ignore while you fold laundry or do the dishes or whatever. Get Smart is the perfect movie for doing minor tasks.

14. Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (2008)

Director: Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg

Screenplay: Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg

Starring: John Cho, Kal Penn

Maybe the world needs another Harold & Kumar movie. It just might be the right time in world history for some slightly subversive and very stupid stoner laughs by a couple of Asian guys.

13. The Birth of a Nation (2016)

Director: Nate Parker

Screenplay: Nate Parker

Starring: Nate Parker, Gabrielle Union

This film had a strange history out of the gate: a reimagining of the original The Birth of a Nation but with the slaves playing the heroes instead of the villains. Sounds good, right? That was until some disturbing revelations about Nate Parker’s actions in college. Critics eventually panned it and people stepped out of the way to let Parker self-destruct.

12. Insomnia (2002)

Director: Christopher Nolan

Screenplay: Hillary Seitz

Starring: Al Pacino, Robin Williams

Chris Nolan has made a slew of great flicks over the course of his career but most people tend to name check his Batman trilogy and Inception when they speak of it. Insomnia finds Al Pacino as a detective sent to Alaska on a missing persons case. He finds Robin Williams in a sinister turn as the man he’s got to hunt down.

11. Protocol (1984)

Director: Herbert Ross

Screenplay: Nancy Meyers

Starring: Goldie Hawn, Chris Sarandon

After saving the life of an Arab emir, Goldie Hawn finds herself at the center of the world’s attention. And with the world’s attention, comes plenty of scandal!

10. Rush Hour 3 (2007)

Director: Brett Ratner

Screenplay: Jeff Nathanson

Starring: Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker

There’s plenty of debate over which of the Rush Hour films is the best in the series, but we don’t think there’s much to be said at all: it’s clear that third times are truly a charm.

9. Serendipity (2001)

Director: Peter Chelsom

Screenplay: Marc Klein

Starring: Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack

Before she was slaying werewolves on the reg, Kate Beckinsale was slaying our hearts with understated little romantic comedies like this one opposite John Cusack.

8. Shaft (2000)

Director: John Singleton

Screenplay: John Singleton

Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Christian Bale

Only one man can clean up the seedy underbelly of New York City and look good as hell doing it—SHAFT! (shut yo mouth).

7. Shakespeare in Love (1998)

Director: John Madden

Screenplay: Tom Stoppard, Marc Norman

Starring: Gwyneth Paltrow, Joseph Fiennes

This film won a ton of awards the year it came out but people will probably just find it annoying now.

6. Speed (1994)

Director: Jan de Bont

Screenplay: Graham Yost, Joss Whedon

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Dennis Hopper

This is one of the best movies to ever take place on a bus. There aren’t a ton of movies that take place on a bus, but if there were, this one would still be the best.

5. The Bodyguard (1992)

   

Director: Mick Jackson

Screenplay: Lawrence Kasdan

Starring: Kevin Costner, Whitney Houston

It’s become a Twitter “woke” trope to hate on white savior movies but this one has to be one of the worst. Luckily, the two stars shine brightly being that their respective characters aren’t too far from their real life counterparts. But, then again, here we are making hot takes on a 25-year-old movie.

4. The Conjuring (2013)

Director: James Wan

Screenplay: Chad Hayes, Carey Hayes

Starring: Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga

Horror movies get a bad rap because so many awful slasher flicks have come out over the course of cinema history but The Conjuring takes horror movies back for the people! It’s a more than serviceable haunted house film with plenty of great acting.

3. The Order (2003)

Director: Brian Helgeland

Screenplay: Brian Helgeland

Starring: Heath Ledger, Shannyn Sossamon

Devils and demons plague Heath Ledger (RIP) playing a priest of the old order hot on the trail of an arcane murder. He’ll have to get down with G-O-D if he wants to solve this one.

2. The Witches of Eastwick (1987)

   

Director: George Miller

Screenplay: Michael Cristofer

Starring: Jack Nicholson, Cher, Michelle Pfeiffer

Based on the novel of the same name by John Updike, The Witches of Eastwick finds Jack Nicholson as a charming bachelor who encourages the titular witches to grow their powers through seduction.

1. The Conjuring 2 (2016)

   

Director: James Wan

Screenplay: Chad Hayes, Carey Hayes, James Wan, David Leslie Johnson

Starring: Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga

This sequel has the Warrens once again besieged by evil spirits. No less terrifying but another fine outing by genre specialist James Wan.

Best Stuff Streaming on Netflix: May 2017

May is going to be a great month for Netflix original programming. There’s close to two-dozen returning or new Netflix original shows and a handful of original movies to choose from. The new additions, like the new doc Get Me Roger Stone about the controversial political strategist, look especially promising. But enough with the preamble, let’s get to the list!

25. All Hail King Julien: Exiled: Season 1 (Netflix Original)

Part of the insanely popular Madagascar children’s film universe, the show focuses on the continuing adventures of the gray ring-tailed lemur ruler who, as you might imagine, is forced into exile. The show is sure to continue to delight your kids and maybe even entertain an adult or two.

24. Anne with an E: Season 1 (Netflix Original)

Stop everything.

Because Netflix is reimagining the beloved 80’s miniseries Anne of Green Gables, centered on the ginger orphan at the turn of the 19th century. Expect lots of cutesy quips and timely, moralistic stories centered on feminism and bullying.

23. Get Me Roger Stone (Netflix Original)

Roger Stone was maybe one of the oddest members of Trump’s campaign rogues gallery. When he’s not dressing like the Penguin, he’s out actively trying to ruin our nation (and not just through garish pinstripe suits). Apparently 45 tried to get Stone to drop any involvement with the documentary, but Stone just loves himself too darn much.

22. Master of None: Season 2 (Netflix Original)

If you don’t follow Eric Wareheim on Instagram, you’ve probably been missing his documenting of the filming of the second season of Master of None. In summation: he and Aziz Ansari have been scooting and drinking white wine through most of Italy. We assume this is what you can expect from the second season of the award-winning show.

21. Mindhorn (Netflix Original)

Mindhorn has already premiered in the UK but is just now making its way stateside in this Netflix “sort of Original.” The movie was created and directed by the minds behind the cult comedy favorite The Might Boosh so you should know what to expect in terms of tone. The film centers on a washed up actor who starred in an 80s bionic-cop TV show (think Six Million Dollar Man) but must come out of retirement to solve a real crime.

20. Tracy Morgan: Staying Alive (Netflix Original)

If you’re like us and were wholly disappointed with the new Dave Chappelle specials, perhaps this will bring some cheer to you this May. Tracy Morgan is returning to the stage for the first time since 2014’s Bona Fide. Expect jokes!

19. House of Cards: Season 5 (Netflix Original)

Let’s be real for a second: with all the actual political intrigue going on in Washington, does anyone really need to see it played out in drama? Like, this House of Cards season could literally just be C-SPAN for 10 hours.

18. BLAME! (Netflix Original)

The massively popular cyberpunk manga BLAME! is getting the series treatment this year. The show centers around a distant future where the entirety of the human population lives in a giant labyrinth called the Megastructure, which is spiraling toward oblivion and only one man can save humanity. So, again, not much different that real life.

17. The Mars Generation (Netflix Original)

If the human race is going to survive into the future, it’s been said that we need to colonize other planets, and the young folks in this documentary are preparing to do just that. The film follows a group of teenagers training to be the astronauts who will one day bring life to the red planet.

16. In the Shadow of Iris (Netflix Original)

Another of Netflix’s “sort of Originals,” as In the Shadow of Iris has already made its debut in its native France. The film is a neo-noir focusing a man in the wake of the abduction of his wife. In trying to get her back, he unravels a larger mystery full of sex and secret fetishes. The film promises to be very French.

15. Handsome: A Netflix Mystery Movie

Jeff Garlin is set to have a great year—apparently Curb Your Enthusiasm is coming back to HBO in the fall and Netflix gave him his own movie. In Handsome, Garlin plays LA homicide detective Gene Handsome, who’s trying to solve mysteries both criminal and personal.

14. Bloodline: Season 3 (Netflix Original)

Unfortunately a hardboiled family drama based in the Florida Keys just proved to be too “out there” for Netflix subscribers and this will be Bloodline’s final season. What secrets will be unearthed in the wake of Coach, er, John Rayburn’s sudden departure? How will the family survive without their de facto leader/fratricidal brother? Here’s to hoping the final season is as strong, or stronger, than the first.

13. War Machine (Netflix Original)

Based on the bestselling novel, The Operators, War Machine is centered on a four-star general who’s beset with ending the war in Afghanistan. We’re sure this will be fraught with peril. The film stars Brad Pitt with Anthony Michael Hall, Tilda Swinton, Topher Grace and Ben Kingsley so there’s no way it could suck.

12. F is for Family: Season 2 (Netflix Original)

The first season of Bill Burr’s animated sitcom made us pine for the old days of sitcoms with very un-politically correct fathers, clueless children and doting wives. The second season should deliver the exact same but with more episodes (10!).

11. The Keepers (Netflix Original)

People really love learning about brutal and tragic murders and the people left in the wake. If Making a Murder was any indication of just how much we can get swept up in killings, then The Keepers will be a surefire success. The seven part docuseries will follow the 40-year old unsolved case of a nun, Sister Cathy, in Baltimore, the possible reasons for her death and the cover-up that the series will no doubt allude to.

10. The Place Beyond the Pines

This movie came out in 2012 with two of the biggest actors of the day—Bradley Cooper and Ryan Gosling. For some reason it didn’t get as much fanfare as it deserved, maybe because of Gosling’s tattoos or (SPOILER ALERT) the fact that he dies in the first act. Either way, it’s kind of an American masterpiece and has an incredibly unique narrative style. Definitely worth the watch.

9. Riverdale: Season 1

The CW made a sexy teen drama based on the characters from Archie comics. And, apparently, it’s pretty good. According to Rotten Tomatoes (where it maintains an astonishing 89%), it’s “eerie, odd, daring and… addictive.” Okay, sign me up I guess.

8. What’s With Wheat

The documentary examines the reasons (or non-reasons) behind the growing rate of reported gluten intolerance. Show this to your friend who claims they’re gluten-free or “just a little celiac.”

7. Inglorious Basterds

Quentin Tarantino’s World War II epic returns to Netflix for those of us who just can’t get enough of Brad Pitt in uniform. Watch him and an all-Jewish platoon hunt Nazis and murder Hitler.

8. Marvel’s Doctor Strange

The film is one of the most pleasantly surprising Marvel movies to come out yet despite the fact that it’s literally 99% CGI. Benedict Cumberbatch plays the doctor, and Tilda Swinton plays an Asian? Not sure on that second one but, yeah, the movie is pretty cool.

7. Supernatural: Season 12

Are you as surprised as I am that this show is still going? The two guys have to be, like, 40 years old now.

6. Dig Two Graves

After the disappearance of her brother, 14-year-old Jacqueline is visited by three moonshiners who claim they can bring him back to life in exchange for the life of someone else. Never heard of this movie, director, or actors, but it sounds awesome.

5. Sherlock: Series 4

Cumberbatch is CumberBACK as the eponymous detective. He’s gonna be solving some mysteries, y’all.

4. Norm Macdonald: Hitler’s Dog, Gossip & Trickery (Netflix Original)

Thought we were done with the Netflix Originals? Think again! Netflix doubles down on their resurrection of dad-joke-comedians (see Dana Carvey’s Straight, White Male, 60) with this from the guy who did Dirty Work and hosted SNL’s Weekend Update for a little while. Oh and he was KFC’s Colonel Sanders there for a minute.

3. Beyond the Gates

Two brothers get zapped into a VHS world after they find a board game their father played before his mysterious disappearance. Think Are You Afraid of the Dark meets Jumanji meets TRON. This actually might be pretty cool.

2. Stake Land II

Okay, so vampires are dead. And not metaphorically, but cinematically. At least until they get resurrected again in ten years. But the original Stake Land was a gas and this sequel, with an all-new cast, just may be a decent return to post-apocalyptic vampire-stricken America.

1. Two Lovers and a Bear

The name really summarizes the film better than any blurb can. Two lovers in a small town near the North Pole and a philosophizing polar bear wander around in the snow.

Why not?

SPECIAL MENTION

We thought it prudent to mention that Jurassic Park is leaving Netflix in May! Get your Jurassic Park while you can!

April was a pretty wild month for HBO. Originally programming The Leftovers, Veep, and Silicon Valley all returned as well as the finale of one of their finest miniseries yet, Big Little Lies. So May is a little chiller for the premium cable/streaming service, but there’ll still be some fun stuff to watch!

25. Animals (Season Finale)

The second season of HBO’s animal-who-are-like-weird-people comes to a close this May.

24. The Wizard of Lies

The remarkable true story of the biggest financial scam in history comes to the small screen. Starring Robert De Niro as Bernie Madoff, the docudrama is sure to be very depressing for most people.

23. Mommy Dead and Dearest

Another in HBO’s feel-good film series is a documentary about the murder of Dee Dee Blanchard by her daughter Gypsy. The whole thing gets even more twisted when you find out that Dee Dee had been forcing Gypsy into faking a terminal illness for attention and donations.

22. HBO First Look: Alien: Covenant

HBO First Looks can be pretty interesting. This one is about the upcoming prequel sequel, Alien: Covenant.

21. HBO First Look: The Mummy

HBO is giving the First Look treatment to the upcoming re-reboot of The Mummy. This one stars Tom Cruise!

20. The Eiger Sanction

Is there anything better than watching Clint Eastwood kick ass and climb mountains? Watch him do both in this film.

19. High Plains Drifter

Clint Eastwood is the man with no name (but not that Man with No Name) as he rides into town to take care of some really bad hombres.

18. Sully

Tom Hanks does it again! This time as the incomparable Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger, who saves an entire plane full of people from the outside and high on weed (two of these three statements are lies).

17. Storks

Have 3D animated movies gone too far? Storks is proof that perhaps they have. In this film, storks deliver packages for an Amazon-like service but they should be delivering babies! Because we should really be disseminating more fake information to our children.

16. Jason Bourne

Ten years and one Jeremy Renner later, Matt Damon is back as Jason Bourne. In this film he’s got to kick some serious ass to save the world, etc.

15. The Bourne Ultimatum

Probably the second best Bourne movie.

14. Legend

Not one but two Tom Hardies in this hardy film that’s not just for every Tom, Dick and Harry. It’s a British gangster film about twin gangster kingpins.

13. Notorious

The life and murder of Christopher “Notorious B.I.G.” Wallace is the center of this ambitious but uneven docudrama.

12. Nothing But Trouble

Whatever you do, do not Google this film and then use the Rotten Tomatoes score as a litmus test for whether or not you should watch it. We’re not even going to tell you what the score is (okay, it’s below 10%). It’s a classic pitch black comedy starring Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, John Candy and Demi Moore!

11. The Man with Two Brains

Steve Martin plays a pioneering neurosurgeon with a horrible wife (who can’t relate?). He then meets another neurosurgeon who offers to help him with his problem.

10. Good Will Hunting

A manic pixie dream therapist changes the life of a brilliant janitor.

9. Frank Miller’s Sin City

Four interrelated narratives collide violently in probably one of the greatest comic book adaptations of all time. Written by famous anarcho-libertarian scribe Frank Miller, the film’s got Bruce Willis and Mickey Rourke and, amazingly, actually looks like a comic book.

8. The Beguiled

Based on the 1966 novel of the same name, The Beguiled finds Clint Eastwood as a lothario Union soldier who ends up in the wrong confederate women’s boarding school. The movie is getting the remake treatment with Nicole Kidman and Colin Farrell in the starring roles this year.

7. Caught in the Crossfire

Who would have thought that a cops-and-robbers movie starring American Pie’s Chris Klein and rap superstar 50 Cent would have gone direct to DVD?

6. Inventing the Abbots

Small town Illinois teenagers from different sides of the tracks fool around in the 1950’s.

5. MacArthur

Seven years after Patton, came MacArthur starring Gregory Peck as the titular American General. The man’s life is told in flashback, from his time in World War II to his hunting down of communists to his timely death.

4. Appaloosa

Robert B. Parker’s novel comes to life with Ed Harris at the helm and starring alongside Viggo Mortensen. The film is more than a simple western, defying its genre trappings with a smoldering love triangle and intriguing psychology.

3. Scream 2

The self-referential, self-parodying slasher-comedy sequel doesn’t spin its wheels even without Matthew Lillard and Skeet Ulrich.

2. Scream 3

The last in the self-referential, self-parodying slasher-comedy trilogy spins its wheels without Matthew Lillard and Skeet Ulrich. Although, this one really wrung the performance from co-star David Arquette.

1. Tender Mercies

Tender Mercies has more than a few similarities to the Jeff Bridges-driven (and Oscar winning) drama Crazy Heart. Robert Duvall plays a washed up country music star who marries a widow and becomes a father to her young son. When the opry lights come back to haunt him, will he choose stardom or his family?

25. The Leftovers: Season 3

140 million people disappear without a trace in this riveting HBO original series. Where did they go? What happened to them? What secrets are hidden in Justin Theroux’s new beard? The series does not seek to answer these questions but, instead, ponders the quandary of what those left behind do in the wake of the “sudden departure.”

24. Veep: Season 6

After last season’s curiously prophetic ending—seeing the well-qualified female former vice president Selina Meyer (Julia Louis-Dreyfuss) lose to a slick talking male politician—it will be interesting to see where season 6 takes their charismatic lead in the wake of her being knocked down a peg.

23. Silicon Valley: Season 3

HBO’s “Entourage for nerds” returns with their third season. The trailer would have us believe that Richard leaves his cadre of social awkward programmers to start a new Internet. Will he succeed? Will we see them reunite by mid-season? Probably both.

22. Crashing: Season 1

Crashing makes good use of Pete Holmes’s clean comic abilities as a recently divorced and down-on-his-luck stand up comic seeking shelter in the homes of a cavalcade of comedic heavyweights (Sarah Silverman, Artie Lange, TJ Miller et. al.). The show’s first season was a success and unsurprisingly HBO has already renewed it for a second.

21. Girls: Season 6

Millennials may never seem so interesting again now that Girls is coming to an end. The show lasted a jaw-dropping six seasons and now we’ll have to wave goodbye to Marnie, Hannah, Shoshanna and the British one… probably over Skype and from a coffee shop.

20. Big Little Lies: Limited Series

The limited miniseries seems to be a growing trend for HBO and Big Little Lies is evidence that the network should continue to pursue the medium. If anyone thought that glimpsing through the keyhole into the lives of bored, rich white women was a dead theme, they were wrong. The all-star cast (Nicole Kidman, Reese Witherspoon, Laura Dern and Shailene Woodley) viscerally brings to life the Liane Moriarty murder-thriller novel of the same name.

19. Absolutely Fabulous: the Movie

Edina and Patsy are back in their long-awaited return. The film finds the hard-partying duo knocking supermodel Kate Moss into the River Thames and subsequently fleeing to the French Riviera. Expect lots of drinking and shopping while the duo try to figure out just how to stay live on the high life.

18. Romancing the Stone

A loveless romance writer gets chucked into a real life adventure in the jungles of Colombia with a charming mercenary. Michael Douglas elevates the film above just an Indiana Jones-esque rom-com-with-bullets cash grab.

17. Cop Car

Try to think of a disappointing Kevin Bacon movie. You probably immediately gravitate toward Footloose but you’re wrong. Cop Car centers around two kids who go for a joyride in a crooked cop’s car. Kevin Bacon has a moustache, a badge and a loaded gun. What more could you ask for?

16. 28 Days Later

Two words: fast zombies.

15. Urban Cowboy

Who ever thought that after Saturday Night Fever John Travolta could make a convincing mechanical bull-riding cowboy named Bud Davis? He does pretty well here opposite a proto-feminist Sissy Spacek in this classic of honky tonk cinema.

14. War Dogs

Jonah Hill and Miles Teller step out of their comfort zones to play two loathsome arms dealers who supply guns and ammo to shady folks in league with Afghan forces. Based on a true story that helps to remind people that it’s totally OK to make light of an illegal arms race in the Middle East.

13. Crimson Tide

Gene Hackman and Denzel Washington butt heads over whether or not to launch a nuclear missile at Russia. Bonus points for James Gandolfini and Viggo Mortensen. Fun fact: Crimson Tide was co-written by an uncredited Quentin Tarantino.

12. Suicide Squad

Remember when the whole world waited with baited breath to see just how sick and twisted Jared Leto’s tattooed, millennial representation of the Joker was going to be? Especially after all the reports of him sending used condoms and dead pigs to his cast mates? And then, remember how he ended up in Suicide Squad for all of five minutes?
…

Yeah.

11. Indignation

Despite being one of America’s most universally celebrated (and universally despised) authors, adapting Philip Roth to the big screen has always posed a bit of a challenge (just ask Ewan McGregor). James Schamus does admirably here with his take on Indignation—the story of a brilliant young Jewish man feuding with the dean of his university while pining for a Christian, conservative girl in Ohio.

10. Play Misty for Me

Clint Eastwood is a polarizing figure. When he’s not yelling at chairs in front of a crowd of old white men, he’s out making pretty decent films. Play Misty for Me is his directorial debut and one of the few roles that didn’t see him with a revolver, cigar and a cowboy strut. Eastwood plays a Hollywood DJ that gets into bed with the wrong woman.

9. Be Kind, Rewind

The aughts were a good time for Michel Gondry—Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind garnered him an Academy Award and The Science of Sleep put the power of his vision on full display. Be Kind Rewind didn’t become the hit that it should have but history will no doubt remember it fondly. Jack Black and Mos Def find themselves having to low-budget recreate their favorite movies after Black inadvertently wipes all the tapes at their dwindling video store.

8. Cape Fear

The heartwarming tale of a former public defender and the convicted rapist that wants to kill him and destroy his family. The film marks the seventh of eight collaborations between Martin Scorsese and Robert De Niro (whose tattoos continue to inspire prisoners and alt-indie band members to this day).

7. Slumdog Millionaire

How could a street kid know so much useless, game show trivia? Danny Boyle directs Dev Patel with all the toilet gags, drugs, sex and money you’ve come to know him for.

6. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

The title does a great job of summing up the basic plot. Come for the story of one of the most enduring legends of the American West, stay for the excellent performances of Brad Pitt and the perpetually brooding Casey Affleck.

5. The Deer Hunter

In the span of four years, there were eleven American-made films about the Vietnam War. Seven of them were made in 1976 alone. The Deer Hunter remains one of the most powerful. Christopher Walken and Robert De Niro play American soldiers forever changed by the horrors they are subject to.

4. The Simpsons Movie

This film has everything: a pet pig, graphic nudity and a clueless president who signs off on executive orders without reading them.

3. The Aviator

The biopic of eccentric genius/really rich guy Howard Hughes starring Leonardo DiCaprio as directed by Martin Scorsese.

2. Unforgiven

An aging outlaw takes on one… last… job. Clint Eastwood directs and stars in his last western, tackling the violent and imperialistic truths of the Old West mythos that many other Hollywood films tend to skirt.

1. All the President’s Men

Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman play Woodward and Bernstein following the money all the way to Nixon. If there’s one movie that should be required viewing for all of America, it’s probably this one.